Sunday, March 25, 2012

TEXAS HAIRCUT

I read the following poem at Living Word Church of the Nazarene in Houston, Texas where I've been serving as Interim Pastor since the first of February. It was the result of two different experiences in Texas barber shops. The first barber cut my hair pretty well but then literally zipped off both eye brows with his clippers. Gone.

The second barber I got in the second shop would have been given a failing grade on his FIRST DAY in Barber School if he had performed he cut he gave me.

Hence:

TEXAS HAIRCUT

I DROVE IN TO HOUSTON, HAIR BEAUTIFULLY COIFFED
TILL A WILD EYED TEXAN CUT IT ALL OFF

IT WAS NOT MY FIRST CUT IN THE LONE STAR STATE
I ONLY LOST EYEBROWS IN THAT FIRST TWIST OF FATE

BUT THE SECOND WAS DIFFERENT, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER
WHEN THE BARBER WAS HANGING HIS CERTIFICATE LETTER

WITH GREAT PRIDE HE ATTACHED IT TO THE WALL UP BEHIND HIM
THEN OFFERED HIS CHAIR WITH A SMILE THAT DEFIED HIM.

ARMS COVERED WITH TATTS AND A BENCH FULL OF CLIPPERS
SCISSORS AND RAZORS AND ALL KINDS OF NIPPERS

"JUST A TRIM" I SAID WITH PLENTY OF PRIDE
THEN HE SLIPPED UP BEHIND ME AROUND BY MY SIDE

HE FLIPPED ON THE SWITCH AND HAIR IT DID FLY
AS HE RAN THE CLIPPERS FROM EYE TO EYE

BUT NOT ON THE FRONT, THE EYEBROWS REMAINED
IT WAS FRONT TO BACK AND AROUND TO THE SAME

HAIR FLYING, HEART DROPPING, I KNEW IT WAS GONE
MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR, LOST LIKE THE DAWN.

NO LONGER TO STYLE IT OR SPRAY IT OR FROST IT
IT LAY IN MY LAP AND I KNEW I HAD LOST IT.

"BAD HAIRCUT" YOU SAY? WHY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT'S THE SORRIEST HAIRCUT THAT I'VE EVER SEEN

GOUGES AND RIDGES AND SHELVES IN THE BACK
AND I'VE GOT TO PREACH! THE PEOPLE WILL YACK!

WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO GET THEIR ATTENTION?
I'LL SPEAK ON SAMSON AND THEN I WILL MENTION

THAT I DID IT ON PURPOSE, THIS HAIRCUT ATTACK
BUT I'LL PROUDLY PROCLAIM, "MY EYEBROWS GREW BACK."